There’s enthusiasm and then there’s obsession, and when it comes to our relationships with our vehicles, it can sometimes be difficult to tell which is which. If you find yourself nodding along to the below saying, “Well, a lot of these things did happen this week,” then you might want to consider parking your beloved vehicle and maybe taking the bus for a couple days.

When people say you smell like gas you take it as a compliment.

It’s cheaper than cologne! Diesel on special occasions.

Your list of hobbies is super concise.

Maybe consider taking up the ukulele or something?

You close your bedroom door to try to turn off the light at night.

Sleep tight, and don’t forget to buckle your bed belt or it’ll just keep beeping at you.

The glove box contains ALL the condiments.

You never know when you might need a packet of mayo, ketchup, hot sauce, or plum sauce.

You’re able to do this:

We know this didn’t actually go down like this, but you get the point. Unless you’re getting paid for it; in which case, carry on.

Or this:

We’re all for efficiency, but be honest: How many tries did that take you?

Driving feels like a divine experience.

“He’s driving throughme.” Is this what it feels like to be Lewis Hamilton?

Your social media presence consists entirely of shots taken of, around, and from your vehicle.

Livin’ that #F150Life.

It’s even the screensaver image on your phone or computer.

Bonus Obsession Points if it’s on both.

You view parking pylons as terrible, repressive objects that must be stopped.

And you’ve stopped using sidewalks altogether.

Seriously, though, why are they so narrow?

There are multiple changes of clothes in your trunk.

But none of them are clean.

You’ve started talking to the steering wheel.

Its soft, heated leather knows all your secrets, including how you don’t always keep your hands and ten and two. Scandalous!

And you make “beep beep” noises at people when you walk.

It’s all but replaced “pardon me” or “excuse me.” Generally speaking, people prefer to be communicate with in one of several commonly accepted human languages (i.e. English).

Source: Driving

October 27, 2018